The simple things

I want to understand why I am finding this round of 12WBT so much harder to be motivated by. I know I personally need a really structured routine to stick to this type of lifestyle. Sadly it is not something I just naturally want to do, and maybe in time and routine that will change, but until then each decision is a flex of the will power muscle and a chance to give in to the voice and choose NOT to do it.

Currently I am 40 days away from a house move, my first place I will share with my boyfriend just the two of us. We are both so excited to have this home together and are both looking forward to the freedom of choice and space. Currently we live with my boyfriend’s mother and sisters in their family home. We share the smallest bedroom in the house and as the only boy he is often requested to do more chores and house work than the girls are. This is the nature of their family which is fine. They are lovely people, very welcoming, friendly, fun and clever. The only downside is I have lived out of home for 12 years. This makes joining somone else’s family (no matter how nice) very difficult. It’s the simple things I miss…

SIMPLE THINGS I MISS

• Walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night in a state of unself-conscious undress
• Running from being in the shower to the linen cupboard to grab a towel (in the buff)
• Having my kitchen tidied and organised the way I like it for my cooking
• Knowing that any mess present was my own fault, and taking pride in cleaning up
• Sleeping in without interruption
• Being able to go to bed really late and not worry I will wake someone
• Getting home and enjoying the power to choose a peaceful silence, my fav CD played really loud, the TV or my own singing
• Being able to be naked or in knickers at any place in the home without anyone inappropriate being there to see
• Being able to choose when I did washing. cleaning etc

All this aside, I have been so lucky to be able to join their family, and live with them these last months as it has really helped to save money, and to appreciate the important things and people in my boyfriend’s life. I am glad to have gotten to know these people, who are so important to him, and to be able to appreciate a family life I have never known myself. Here is a list of the things I value most about their family are also things I used to wish I had.

THINGS I VALUE ABOUT TRADITIONAL FAMILY

• Always someone to talk to
• Family can be like friends, who you share your experiences and secrets with
• A loud bustling kitchen is the heart of the home
• Not having to grow up too fast (e.g. mum still doing their washing at 29 where I have been doing mine since I was 14 – I remember when I was 10 starting to make my own lunch for school)
• Family Traditions – e.g. each person in the family has a particular meal they make to contribute to the overall Xmas meal
• Extended family – visiting grandma is a refreshing change, especially as she is what you would expect a grandma to be like – but with more pizazz! My Australian grandama died when I was 8 and my Balinese grandma only speaks balinese (and lives there) which makes the idea of the nurturing grandparents pretty foreign to me!
•  Impromptu Family Games and Movie Nights that often include beers & snacks

 

Photos: Copyright Akea Scott 2010 Africa

All in all being part of a family is really refreshing and lovely. I think the hardest part is adjusting when this is not a familiar experience. Once we are in our own place we will be able to have the best of both worlds. I’ll be able to have the privacy and control over my home, the lovely adopted family of my partner, the ability to set up structure for my cooking and exercise routine to work towards my health and fitness goals, and a shared sanctuary with my boyfriend for us to start our lives together.

I have to say I also enjoy the fact that having a non-traditional family has allowed me to nurture and develop my friendships into family I have chosen.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT FRIENDS BEING MY FAMILY

• Love, understanding and acceptance
• Fun birthdays and family gatherings
• Awesome photos, jokes and memories
• No need to say “Sorry I can’t I have a ‘family’ thing…”
• Generally always know what to give them as gifts
• These are the people who will be making their own families when you are which gives you that broader extended family
• These people may have traditional families giving you the best of both worlds!

Another thing I am looking forward to is for the first time in several years actually just taking time off over Christmas and NOT GOING ANYWHERE! My mum has been quite sick / unwell the last few years and as she does not live nearby all my annual leave (with the exception of 2010, the year I went to Africa) has gone to just seeing my mum – which is nice but hey she can come see me too right?!
I realised this year that 2 years of not having a holiday or adventure has made me so stressed and just craving a new exciting experience. I mean I work to live right, but lately it’s just been working to pay bills and that is no way to live.

This is my favourite time of year as we have Christmas, then New Years (complete with New Years resolutions that I inevitably end up ignoring!) and in January it’s my birthday. Now we also have our new home to look forward to which is BEYOND exciting! We will be able to establish our home the way we want it to be, and can have the kind of relationship you dream about (without worrying if someone will hear you or if you closed the bedroom door!).

Each day I am working on ideas for our home, how to ft in my exercise and diet routine, how to work towards my own business one day and how to be happy and not let ‘life’ get me down. There is so much love and joy to be had in this world and I fully intend to have my share!!

x

 

Photo: Copyright Akea Scott 2010 Africa